Rant of the Day: This is Wal-Mart!

This one is almost too easy. Most everyone I know has a Wal-Mart story; some tale of frustration and aggravation. My personal list is long. Very long. My most recent visit to Wal-Mart is not the most offensive, or even the most bothersome, but it is fresh in my mind so I figured it would work.

Here is the setup:

I live about 10 minutes away from our local Wal-Mart. Ten minutes walking. 15 minutes if we walk with the kids. Yesterday, we walked to Wal-Mart as a family. My kids really enjoy it and it is good for all of us. My wife needed to go to buy some diapers for our 1 year old. I wanted to go to print some pictures and to save a bunch of pictures on a CD. After a little searching, I found the photo processing kiosks; there were three of them. I chose the one that looked like it could take care of my needs and proceeded to complete my order. That part of the process took about 6 or 7 minutes. When I pressed the button “Complete Order”, the message on the screen informed that a receipt would print out and I would need to take it to the Photo Center to scan it and retrieve and pay for my order.

Makes sense, right? Up to this point, things were running very smoothly. I was actually enjoying my visit to Wal-Mart, which is saying something because I really do not like to shop there. So, I proceeded to take my receipt to the Photo Center – which is near the kiosk – and I waited for an employee to show up to help me. Finally, two workers arrived and they looked at me as if I was crazy, or just plain annoying. I told them what I needed and they really started to look at me as if I was crazy. They asked me if I had my photos already. I said no. They told me the machine would print them out. I asked why the machine told me to go to the Photo Center to do this. They gave no answer. One of the employees walked me back to the kiosk where he took my receipt and scanned it and it said my order was being processed. We found my photos – they had already printed – and I waited for the CD to finish.

Let me interrupt my own story to say a few things. There is a good chance I simply misread the message on the photo machine. I am human and that is not out of the realm of possibility. Also, it makes sense for the machine where I placed the order to be the machine that actually prints the order, but based on what I thought I read that did not seem to be the case. It really makes little difference though, since that part of the story is not what bothered me. That comes next.

My CD finished printing. I had my order. Obviously, I now had to pay for my order, so I walked back to the Photo Center and once again, waited for an employee. And I waited. Finally, a different employee than the previous two that were there came and asked me if I was being helped. I said no. I told him what I needed and he took my receipt – which had the price total on it as well – and walked back to the kiosk saying something about having to match up the receipt with the machine. The what? I don’t know, and by this point I really didn’t care. Just do what you got to do Wal-Mart guy!

(My wife had finished her shopping about 10 minutes prior to this most recent exchange and was doing her best to entertain a 7 year old, a 5 year old, and a 1 year old.)

More waiting. My wife decided to go ahead and leave with the two youngest boys. The oldest stayed with me for moral support. We waited some more. Finally the employee returns and says that the scanner is not working properly and he is going to try a different approach. Awesome! Wal-Mart ingenuity! I couldn’t wait…but I could. And I did. The new approach seemed to be along the lines of trying the same thing over and over and over and hope that eventually it will work. Finally, after multiple attempts and failures, the Wal-Mart guy told me that I would have to take my order and the receipt to Customer Service because his scanner was not working. I told him that this whole thing wasn’t making any sense to me. The cost of my order was on the receipt, couldn’t he just enter that in to the computer and do it that way? He said no. I said, and I quote, “That doesn’t make any sense.” He replied, and once again I am quoting, “This is Wal-Mart.” Oh snap! Wal-Mart guy throws the whole company under the bus! (I can picture Gerard Butler from the movie 300 as a Wal-Mart employee yelling, “This is Wal-Mart!” anytime a customer has a problem or complaint. As if that sentence explains and excuses everything.)

I thanked him for his time and I walked to the Customer Service desk. Thankfully, this part of the process was quick and painless. The nice CS clerk took my receipt, keyed in the total and rang me up. When I explained what I had been told in the Photo Center she had that look on her face that screamed “I work with a bunch of morons!” but she was too classy and too professional to actually say anything. I respect that. She did her job and took care of my problem. If only more Wal-Mart workers could be like her then shopping there would be a pleasure and not a soul-sucking chore.

It’s the little things.

Is there anything in your life that just makes you happy? I’m talking happy beyond explanation. Something so deeply satisfying that you can’t explain it. On the flip side, I am not talking about the big things in life: faith, family, friends. Most people can understand exactly why those things inspire feelings of happiness and joy. This is not about that. My question is about something much simpler. Something much more inconsequential, at least when viewed from the outside.

There are people that find pure happiness in their pets. There are people that find that sort of happiness with food. Coffee. Riding their bike. You get the point. These are things that in the grand scheme of things seem to matter little, yet they can mean so much to us. I think of them as little points of contact with the Creator. Yes, I fully believe that we do well to enjoy life to the fullest, and by doing so, we come closer to the heart of God. I am fully aware that this sounds sort of ridiculous: What does God care about how much happiness I get out of a cup of coffee? More than you or I will ever know, I would wager. There is a whole book of the Bible that covers this very topic. Ecclesiastes is full of wrong turns, dead ends, and vain searches for fulfillment, but in the end, the author figured it out: “I’ve decided that there’s nothing better to do than go ahead and have a good time and get the most we can out of life. That’s it—eat, drink, and make the most of your job. It’s God’s gift.” (Ecclesiastes 3:12-13) We were created to enjoy life and in turn enjoy the little things that make up our lives. So in the words of Jonsi Birgisson, lead singer of Sigur Ros – one of my chief providers of happiness:

Go sing, too loud
Make your voice break – Sing it Out!
Go scream, do shout
Make an earthquake.

You wish surprise would never stop wonders
You wish sunrise would never fall under
We should always know that we can do anything

Go do!

What seemingly insignificant thing is your source of happiness? Are you taking advantage of these little things, using them to dig deeper and find something even more valuable and more life changing? Feel free to share.

“When a man has lost all happiness, he’s not alive. Call him a breathing corpse.” ~Sophocles

Raven’s Ladder by Jeffrey Overstreet

 

The best things dazzle us slowly.

Jeffrey Overstreet more than competently introduced readers to the world of the Expanse in Auralia’s Colors, the first novel in the four-part Auralia’s Thread series.  The  Expanse is a world of Beastmen and Seers.  A world inhabited by fangbears and viscorcats.  A world infused with color and wonder by a cast of characters that are intricately and passionately alive:  Auralia.  Cal-Raven.  The Ale Boy.  It is a fantasy world, but one that mirrors our own precious and delicate existence.  The second novel, Cyndere’s Midnight, took all that was good about Auralia’s Colors and somehow made it all more interesting, more beautiful, and more emotionally satisfying.  It was the work of an artist; a writer with unique gifts and abilities.  Raven’s Ladder continues that progression.  Overstreet has a strong, confident voice now.  These are his characters, in his world, and he knows exactly how he wants to use to them to best tell his story.  His writing is poetic, yet never ostentatious.  He writes with a sense of artistry that is missing in so much of modern fantasy literature.  This time out, the stakes are even higher for our characters.  There is a festering corruption that seeks total control.  It has gained a foothold of power in seemingly all corners of the Expanse.  If the good people of the Expanse are to survive, it will be through grace and hope.  There is a better way, a more beautiful way, but it’s up to these fragile souls to hold on to that vision with all of their might.

Raven’s Ladder is a worthy continuation to the ever expanding saga.  The characters are given more depth with much more complicated pasts and problems than we had perceived.  The plot is engaging and complex, but never hurried or confusing.  Late in the story a character remarks, “The best things dazzle us slowly.”  Raven’s Ladder does just that.  It dazzles.  Slowly.  Overstreet takes his time.  He “dazzles us slowly” with words, actions, and amazing people.  It is a welcome respite from the massive fantasy novels that use a vast amount of words poorly.  Overstreet uses a few words perfectly.  He gets all the little details right, enriching an already overstuffed story.  He takes seemingly minor characters, characters that other authors would simply use as plot devices, and he gives them purpose and meaning.  He gives them souls.  It is a beautiful thing. 

Do I have any complaints?  Not really.  I do have one wish though.  I wish these stories were given a little more room to breathe.  I am certain that it is publishing constraints that keep the books under 400 pages, and Overstreet works wonders with those pages, but it would be nice to let him stretch out a bit.  I’m not asking for a “massive fantasy novel”.  But there is so much to explore and learn about this world he has created, it seems a bit unfair to not let him and the readers do just that.

With Raven’s Ladder, Overstreet has firmly established himself as one of the better writers working in the fantasy genre today.  Auralia’s Color’s hinted at that.  Cyndere’s Midnight announced it.  And Raven’s Ladder removes all doubt.  It is a great book by a great writer who deserves much more recognition than he is receiving.  I’ve never been to the Expanse, but somehow, when I read these stories, I come home.  Thank you Jeffrey Overstreet for taking me there.

Is this heaven? No, it’s the Allstate Sports Zone without George Plaster.

George Plaster is on vacation and I am loving every minute of it!  We had the unexpected blessing of seeing Darren McFarland leave the show a while back and now George has been off the air for over a week.  Can it get any better than this?  No.  I submit it cannot. 

Willie and Chad are doing a great job in George’s absence.  It has been a pleasure listening to two guys discuss sports in an intelligent and thoughtful manner.  Keep up the good work guys – for as long as it lasts.

In other news, 3 Hour Lunch is the best radio show around.  I had my doubts at first but this combination is pretty special.  Clay Travis is an idiot, but he is an interesting and controversial idiot.  He is my kind of idiot, in that even when he is wrong he makes a great argument, but he is not so full of himself as to believe that he is always right.  Blaine Bishop is fiery, outspoken, and perfectly willing to mix it up with Clay – which is exactly what Clay needs.  He also brings a specific perspective (former NFL player) to the show.  Brent Dougherty is the glue that holds it all together.  He is the perfect conductor for this crazy bit of radio entertainment.  Even if you are not in the Middle Tennessee area, you can listen to the show by going to the website right here.  In a perfect world this show would go nation wide.

Lord, forgive us.

I found this interesting website that tracks World Statistics – things like population growth, births each day and year, deaths each day and year, and other interesting things.  As I was looking at each statistic, I couldn’t believe my eyes when I got to this stat:        22,133,460 abortions performed this year worldwide.  That number is growing every single second.  Here is the page for abortions on the website.  Something else that really jumped out at me is that 22% of all pregnancies in the United States (excluding miscarriages) end in abortion.  22%.  Let that number sink in for a second.  We are aborting almost 1/4 of all pregnancies in this country.  (Since I started writing this post just a few minutes ago over 3,000 babies have been aborted.) 

God forgive us.

Christ have mercy on us.

Music Mix.

I got this idea from a message board I frequent.  Basically, you take your MP3 player and you put it on shuffle and then list the first ten songs that appear.  No cheating.  No skipping.  Just list the songs that appear.  It’s very simple but it’s kind of cool to see what other people have on their MP3 players.  Here is my list for today:

1. Paper Moon – Shout Out Louds (Work)
2. A Different Drum – Peter Gabriel (Passion)
3. Unless God Appears First – The Elms (The Great American Midrange)
4. This Kind of Life Keeps Breaking Your Heart – Hammock (Maybe They Will Sing for Us Tomorrow)
5. Ara batur – Sigur Ros (Med sud i eyrum vid spilum endalaust)
6. Umbrella – Rihanna (Good Girl Gone Bad)
7. Greet Death – Explosions in the Sky (Those Who Tell the Truth Shall Die, Those Who Tell the Truth Shall Live Forever)
8. She’s Alright – The Choir (Oh How the Mighty Have Fallen)
9. Truman Sleeps – Philip Glass (The Truman Show Soundtrack)
10. One Month Off – Bloc Party (Intimacy)

Now, it is your turn.  Post your music mix in the comments section.

5 Things I am Digging.

1.  Rebellion (Lies) by Arcade Fire off the album Funeral.  The song is energetic, catchy, and it moves me every single time I hear it.  After No Cars Go, it is my favorite song of theirs.

2.  Toy Story 3.  I am still a little overwhelmed with how much I enjoyed this film.  I love almost every Pixar film to date, so it’s no surprise that I loved this one, but I didn’t expect to fall so hard for it.  I can’t wait to see it again.

3.  Raven’s Ladder by Jeffrey Overstreet.  I finished it about two weeks ago and I am still thinking about it – that pretty much says it all.  I am working on a review for it that I should have finished in the next couple of days.  Overstreet has become one of my favorite authors and I am very excited to see what he has planned for the final book in this series.

4.  Lost.  Yes, I know.  I’ve already finished this series.  Who cares?  It’s just that good.  I am working my through the series again on Netflix Instant and I have just finished Season 1.  I hope to start Season 2 very soon.  I still stand by my belief that Season 1 is the best season of television I have ever seen.

5.  I never thought I would write or even think this but here goes:  World Cup Soccer.  I am totally invested now.  I am and will never be a huge soccer fan, but this World Cup has sucked me in and I am kind of hooked.  I think it helped that the US team got screwed out of a goal.  That slight got some non fans to pay attention for once – all that national pride and stuff.  I hope they can keep this ride going for a little longer.  Go USA!!!

Pure. Movie. Magic.

I love movies.  Plain and simple.  I love going to the theater and being thrilled by a new film.  I love how a great film makes me feel like I can dream and do anything.  I even love experiencing the wonders and the magic of a great film on my own television, in the comfort only my home can provide.  It does not replace a great theatrical experience, but it serves its purpose.  Sadly, those magical moments inspired by great films have been too few and much too far between in recent years.  Sure, there are some films that won me over, and there are many films in the past few years that I truly enjoy, but it seems like the batting average is going down, as if filmmakers are in a bit of a slump.  They have a few big hits in them, but overall, their production is waning. 

Never fear!  Pixar is here!

If there is one studio that sets the gold standard is quality, creative filmmaking, it is Pixar.  Their output is spectacular, to say the least.  They have lovingly crafted some of the finest films ever to grace the big or small screen, and their most recent entry, Toy Story 3 is no exception.  Let’s be honest for a second,  Toy Story 3 had the decked stacked against it from the beginning.  It was a sequel to two of the most beloved of all the Pixar films.  It was continuing the story that Toy Story 2 seemed to have concluded so satisfactorily. And finally, 3^rd films in trilogies tend to disappoint. 

Thankfully.  Amazingly.  Triumphantly, Toy Story 3 does not disappoint.  It does not feel perfunctory.  It takes everything that audiences loved in Toy Story and Toy Story 2 and it builds on those things.  While the story is probably not as original as the two previous installments, the sheer creativity on display was enough to push that thought right out of my mind.  Not to mention that this is without a doubt the most emotionally wrenching and satisfying Pixar film to date.  I cried.  People all around me in the theater cried.  I saw a woman and her teenage daughter holding each other at the end they were so overcome with emotion.  And it is not sentimental, regardless what some jaded critics and viewers have said.  All the emotions in this film are earned – because we have spent time with these characters and experienced their joys and fears alongside them.  Woody, Buzz, Slinky, Mr. Potato Head, Ham, and the rest of the bunch are part of our family now.  My children are growing up with their adventures seared into their minds and hearts.  They are better for it.  We are all better for it.  These “children’s stories” tell us more about love, acceptance, friendship, life, and death than just about anything else that I have encountered and they do it in such a simple, entertaining way that it leaves me awestruck.

Too often these days I walk away from a film unmoved or uninspired.  Too often I feel as if I have to work up excitement for a film, trying to convince myself that the film was actually good.  Never again.  Pixar has proven once again that we don’t have to lower our expectations.  We don’t have to settle any more.  One of my favorite film critics – Drew McWeeny (aka: Moriarty) wrote this about The Fellowship of the Ring on December 13^th, 2001, just days before its release:

And in the meantime, I vow to quit settling. I have decided that I am done forgiving. I have seen that it can be done, that real perfection is possible in film, and I am not willing to settle anymore.        

Great films have this sort of power and for that I will be forever grateful to Pixar Studios.  They have raised the bar for everyone.  This is the best film of the year and it might well be the best Pixar film ever.  But don’t take my word for it.  Go, see it for yourself.  You will thank me later.

Right here and now…It means everything.

I have three kids.  All boys and all 7 years old or younger.  Yeah, it’s pretty awesome.  I mean it!  I wasn’t being sarcastic.  It is really great.  They make me laugh.  They make me smile.  A lot.  They make me strive to be more patient, more loving, more consistent, more disciplined, and most importantly, more aware of the importance of just “being there” for them. 

It’s easy as a parent to look back on their younger days when they were just cute little babies, or curious toddlers.  It’s also easy to look forward to the day when they will be more independent and not need my near constant supervision.  I think most parents struggle with this.  We are nostalgic for the past and longing for the future, and we can completely miss the amazing things that are happening in the present.  I don’t want to miss what my kids are doing today just so I can relive what happened two years ago or dream about what will happen 5 years from now.  That is unfair to me and it is certainly unfair to them. 

I am here for them right now…and it does mean everything.

Rant of the Day: Motorcyclists

I keep hearing and seeing ads to watch out for motorcyclists on the road.  So, why does this make me mad?  Why don’t they tell the motorcyclists to actually follow the rules of the road and not drive like little, ignorant versions of Evel Knievel?  I know this is not scientific or anything, but in my experience the vast majority of motorcyclists that I see on the road are speeding and weaving in, around, and through traffic.  It appears to me that if more and more motorcyclists are getting killed on the road then perhaps much of the blame should be theirs. 

“I didn’t see him” says the voice of an actress recounting the words of the person who hit and killed her “son” while he was riding his motorcycle.  Do you know why you didn’t see him?  He was driving 90 MPH in a 55 MPH zone and he had just swerved across 4 lanes of traffic to get in the HOV lane right as you were legally merging into that lane after looking in your mirrors and signalling.