A new blog post.

Apparently I have let many people down.  I have done something unthinkable.  Something horrible even.  What is this horribly unthinkable thing that I have done?  I have not posted a new blog entry in a long time.  Technically, that would be something I haven’t done…but let’s not get caught up in the particulars.  The point is:  I am a huge disappointment.  Do I have an excuse for my lack of posting?  Not really.  I just haven’t been inspired to write anything.  I have tossed a few ideas around in my head, but nothing has made it past that early, infant stage.  If those ideas ever become fully formed, you will be the first to know. 

So, what is this specific blog entry about?  Nothing really.  I have no reason to be writing these words other than there are certain people who I know (think: wife and brother) who have asked me why I haven’t posted in a long time.  It really is as simple as that.  If you are still reading hoping that I will write something witty or funny or inspiring, you might as well leave now because I have nothing of the sort in mind.  I fully intend this entry to the be the most boring, uninspiring, and humorless thing I have ever written.  It will be worse than that actually.  It will be pointless.  I could forgive a boring, uninspiring, and humorless blog post if it were just poorly written, or a topic that did not interest me.  But to write something, regardless the length, that serves no purpose at all is just the definition of emptiness.  (At this point, I could try to tie in a quote from Ecclesiastes and make this whole entry sound important and very spiritual.  But I won’t because that would be a cheap, thinly veiled attempt at purposefulness, and the very idea disgusts me.  I will not try to overspiritualize this because I feel that trite spiritualization does more damage than good.  No, this entry shall remain entirely pointless.)

  Why are you still reading this?  That is a very important question, and I am glad I asked.  I have no answer for that.  I am not you and cannot begin to imagine why you would subject yourself to this.  You need to find more productive things to do with your time.  Perhaps, the more important question would be; why am I still writing?  I am me and I still cannot completely answer that question, but here are my reasons for writing:

  1. I feel guilty for not blogging more often.  I shouldn’t feel guilty, but I do.
  2. I want people to like me.  I enjoy getting complements about my blog.
  3. My wife told me I needed to post more often.  She is the boss of me.
  4. I want people to think I am funny.  Granted, this entry is not the best evidence of my humor, but you have to admit that part about the….stuff….or the thing about being pointless….and that inspiring bit was pretty…ummm….yeah….  I’m sure there is something funny up there.
  5. I’m on my lunch break.

 In closing, I will try to do better in the future.  I’ve said that before but I really mean it this time.  I didn’t really mean it the previous times.  I just said that so people would leave me alone.  Maybe that is what I am doing right now…no one can no for sure.  Only God knows because He knows everything.  Much like the deer that is panting at the edge of the rippling brook, so my soul longs for the tender mercies afforded me by the……. Sorry!  Wrong Scripture reference.  MUST NOT MAKE IMPORTANT-SOUNDING-SPIRITUAL-LESSON THAT DOES NOT BELONG! ——–I passed the test.  I will diminish and go into the Western part of my office building and eat my rice and remain Phillip. 

You have now successfully wasted at least a few minutes of your day.  Congratulations!  Go back to work.

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One thought on “A new blog post.

  1. Phill, you were insistent that this was a very unfunny post. I think it’s one of the funniest you’ve ever done. Loved it.

    That being said, hope your writer’s block passes soon.

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