Becoming a kid while getting older.

My oldest son started 2nd grade this week. My middle son started Kindergarten today. Should that make me feel old? It doesn’t. While I don’t exactly feel young – think: college young – I don’t feel remotely old. In fact, I don’t really feel that much different than I did 10 years ago. Well, that is not exactly true. In some ways I do feel different than I did 10 years ago. 10 years ago, I was a recent college graduate that had most things in life figured out. When I say most things, I mean just that. I was very smart. I knew a lot of stuff. I was all sorts of awesome. And then real life happened. Marriage. A real job. Kids. All those things. What did all of that cumulative responsibility do to me? It made me realize that I don’t have most of the answers. It made me realize that I am not very smart and that I don’t know that much stuff. And you know what? That is ok with me. I’m not excusing ignorance or lack of knowledge. Not at all. I actively try to learn new things. Lazy minds are wasted and wasteful and I want no part of that. No, this isn’t about ignorance, or naiveté, or anything else of the sort. This is about proper self-perception. This is about humility. This is about knowing that I don’t know everything and being willing to admit that, not only to others, but to myself.

There are lots of things my kids don’t understand, yet they accept my word as the truth in those situations. And that is ok with them. They fully trust that I have their best interest at heart. How much more can that be said about my relationship with God. He wants what is best for me at all times yet I continually “know” better and fight Him. I am doing my best to get back to the faith of my childhood. Getting back to accepting His Word as Truth. So, while I am getting older – in physical terms – I am doing my best to get younger mentally and spiritually.

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